Ahhhh….rings in the sand…and the fountain….and the grass…

“Rings are an ancient symbol, blessed and simple. Round like the sun, like the eye, like arms that embrace. Circles, for love that is given comes back round again and again.  Therefore may these symbols remind you that your love, like the sun, illuminates, that your love, like the eye, must see clearly.  And that your love, like arms that embrace, is a grace upon this world.” 

And they are vital, if  you are including a ring exchange in your ceremony. We all want to make sure that when I ask for the rings, someone actually has one, and it is one of my reoccurring dreams that when I do ask the question, everyone in the bridal party looks at each other with terror. Sometimes the rings are in a bag in a limo somewhere; on the kitchen table; in one memorable case, they were still in San Fransisco.  Sometimes,however, they are close, but not close enough.

It happened not too long ago. I ALWAYS tell the couple NOT to give the “real rings” to a child, their dog, their ferret, or anyone who is doing jello shots before the ceremony.  Do they listen to me? Most of the time, most being the operative word.


We were at a beautiful private club on a lake shore in the Poconos. Early autumn leaves,   brisk winds, a little on the nippy side; the perfect backdrop for an outdoor wedding on a colorful afternoon. When the bride arrived, I asked her for the rings, and she said they were tied to the pillow that the ring bearer would carry up the aisle.   

About halfway through, I notice two of the groomsmen digging in the sand with the ring
bearer. I  assumed they were entertaining him and it really didn’t sink in (no pun intended).

When I ask for the rings, I got  two men’s rings, obviously not new!. …The couple looked a little confused, but I went off-mike and said,  “just go with it” . After the ring vows and the sendoff, about 30 guests rush over to the  pit by the groomsmen and start digging for the diamond wedding bands. One of the more creative guests commandeered two  pasta strainers from the restaurant’s kitchen,  and with some enthusiastic sifting,  finally hit gold. Or, in this case, platinum. We did another little ring exchange, and all was well.

BUT SERIOUSLY, ….with two expensive rings in the mix,  you probably want to keep them a little more secure, and give the dog, ferret, ring bearer two fake rings. Everyone will be a little calmer, and that is really important!

Several couples have told me that it is “really important” to  the ring bearer that he be carrying the real rings, so now, this will be my go to story. I seriously doubt whether your average RB has any idea what  is a real ring and what isn’t.

So, tie something fake to the pillow or the collar or whatever vehicle those adorable pinch-able ring bearers are going to brandish and keep the REAL RINGS in the best man, best woman, or parents pockets, whoever is going to be in charge of handing them to me to hand to you.  We’ll all breathe a little easier, and there will be no excavating or diving at the end of the ceremony!