Same Sex Wedding Ceremonies
In New Jersey and New York, your loving and committed relationship with all the rights and privileges of marriage is now a reality! Whether you consider your same sex wedding an act of courage, and act of love or both, planning your same sex wedding ceremony will be a process that is joyful, liberating, and comforting. The path to marriage will be one that you will always treasure as a time of deep connection and growth, for each partner individually, and for your partnership as a couple.
“What if there were a universe in which a world was born out of a smallish star, and into that world flew red winged blackbirds, and into it swam sperm whales, and into it bloomed crocuses, and into it blew wind to life the tiniest hairs on the naked arms in spring, and into it at some point grew onions, out of soil, and in went Mt. Everest and also the wolf we’ve spotted in the woods about a mile from here, just after sunrise on these mornings when the moon is full?
Into that world came animals and elements and plants, and imagination, the mind and the mind’s eye. If such a universe existed and you noticed it, what would you do? What song would come out of your mouth, what prayer, what praises, what sacred offering, what whirling dance, what religion and what reverential gesture would you make to greet that world, every single day that you were in it?”
– A Writing by Victoria Safford
We all imagine and hope for this world of beauty; a world that cheers equality in marriage; traditional and gay marriages. By our public actions we strengthen our own relationships and build bridges of understanding to those around us; those who might not quite see that committed love is a gift to all it touches.
Because New Jersey has made it possible for couples to get married, it is fitting to quote from a court decision made in Massachusetts, by Chief Justice Margaret H. Marshall. Her rich words speak to us all about the role of marriage in civic life and the life of a couple. Her words also remind us what an important step this is. It is time for every state to recognize the rights of the gay and Lesbian community to enjoy the dignity and joy and legal privileges of marriage; to realize that gay wedding vows are no different than the vows between a traditional couple. We are excited that that time has come for our gay and Lesbian couples in New Jersey.
“Marriage is a vital social institution. The exclusive commitment of two individuals to each other nurtures love and mutual support; it brings stability to our society. Marriage provides an abundance of legal, financial, and social benefits. In return, it imposes weighty legal, financial, and social obligations. A civil marriage enhances the “welfare of the community.” It is a social institution of the highest importance.”
“Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family…. The decision whether and whom to marry is among life’s momentous acts of self-definition.”
– Chief Justice Margaret H. Marshall
This writing reminds us that marriage exists within community. It is both joyous and important to acknowledge and celebrate your relationship within a supportive community that may include friends and family.
As a wedding officiant, it is my great joy to create a marriage ceremony that is touching and funny; intimate and encompassing. We will use language that is comfortable and authentic. We’ll include elements that express your relationship in the most meaningful and personal way; stories about your journey; readings, music and rituals that speak to you and of you. If you have children, we can include them; if you have beloved pets? Why not!
You may want to do something totally traditional; you may want a ceremony that is totally different. We just need to talk about it! There are no rules to follow; there is no history to inform or stifle us. There is only the hard won celebration of your partnership as expressed in your wedding ceremony.